I'm in a weird place right now.
No, really, they're doing some work to my office and put me up in this funky little room for the day and it feels strange in here.
Anyway, this post has nothing to do with the little room I've been exiled to (and I thought I was doing such a good job at my internship...). It has to do with the fact that I am (technically) a single woman and I'm not tripping about it.
I have a lot of female friends who are also single, and most (not all) fall into two categories (With a little dramatization):
1) "I LOVE being single! Being single is the best thing that EVER happened to me! F*ck men and their mama's! I don't need 'em! I'm doing this by myself and that's all I ever want!I hate relationships so much, I don't want to have FRIENDS who are in relationships! I'm too young to get caught up! Anything with a penis can fall back if he's looking for anything more than a wham-bam-give-it-to-me-man and GET OUT! The single life is the only life for me! The only ring I'm puttin' on it is a Nuva-Ring!"
2) "I HATE being single! Why is everyone in a relationship but me??? My bed is so cold at night. I should just buy 13 cats now and be done with it. Why doesn't anyone want me??? Maybe I should just settle so I don't have to be alone. What am I doing wrong? I'm tired of beating bridesmaids all about the head at weddings to catch the bouquet weddings and not having anything to show for it. All the good men are taken...I'd take a bad one, though. My vag is so cold at night. I just wish someone even WANTED to put a ring on it, even if it was just a promise ring."
Ladies, ladies, ladies! It doesn't even have to be all that.
Seriously, we don't have to love being single so much that hating relationships is our most time-consuming hobby, nor do we need to loathe every waking moment that we aren't boo-ed up.
Here's the thing, when you're in a relationship with someone, there are going to be all kinds of ups and downs. Some of those downs will be easy breezy ("He didn't call when he said he would, I got upset, he bought me diamonds, now we're cool,") and some of them will be insurmountable hurdles ("He slept with my sister/best friend, I shot him, he bought me diamonds, I kept them, we're still not cool").
No matter how much you love that person, there are going to be days where you need them to give you 50 feet and just let you breathe. You'll miss those single moments when you could come home, take off all of your clothes, pop-in "Ghostbusters", surround yourself with comic books and stay that way until you were ready to eat again and NOBODY would have anything to say about it. Okay, maybe that's just what I would do, but you get what I'm saying.
Now when you're single, you're STILL IN A RELATIONSHIP. It's just with yourself.
There are going to be ups and downs. Some nights you're going to come home and hate that there is no one there to just cuddle on the couch with and watch American Idol (not me cause I can't watch that ish). Other nights, you're going to come home and praise Tiny Baby Jesus that you can just kick-back and watch an entire season of The Nanny (again, maybe it's just me) by yourself with no one trying to watch something else or talk to you about their job.
Sometimes, the grass is only greener on the other side of the fence because you keep pissing in your own yard.
If you're single and loving it, that's okay, but why close yourself off to the possibility of commitment? I understand not everyone is looking for that traditional "happily ever after"but I also know that sometimes you're trying to show how happy you are being single so that men will want you more because you seem like the kind of girl who isn't looking for anything long-term. So, why are so many of you upset when a man doesn't call you back or tell you that he wasn't looking for anything serious when you bring up relationships? Because playing games like that only catches other game-players.
Bad strategy, chick.
For the women who constantly complain about being single, why are you making yourself look so desperate for a relationship? If you can't enjoy your own company without the company of others, what makes you think somebody else will want to sign-up to be responsible for your happiness? And what happens when you're finally in a relationship? You're going to complain about how you're just not happy where you are now!
Unhappy people will find any reason to justify their unhappiness. Sometimes their relationship status has nothing to do with it.
The bottom line is, leave a little grey area for yourself. Don't think that because you're single you have to be either begging for a relationship OR exhilarated at the thought of a life spent without partnership. You can be open to love without selling yourself short either way.