25 Books to Read in my 25th Year

Friends Elysia and Joseph on one of  annual trips to Hyde Brothers Books in Fort Wayne, IN

Every writer I've met has a list of books they've been meaning to read but never have the time to get to. People have always assumed I read everything because I'll read anything. I am one of the fortunate few whose knowledge of what makes a "good" book has never hindered them from enjoying a really shitty one. What can I say? It's a gift.

Some of the books I left at my grandmothers when I went to college. No wonder my love life has been so twisted.

Now that I'm 25 years old, I think it's high time I cross fire and death to defeat this Balrog of a list. Also, reading a list of 25 books is on my original list here. <---That list is the big list. The ultimate. That's the one that has to have every single thing completed by my next birthday. Which means I'll be submitting a story for publication in the next two days. I don't even want to talk about it. But I kind of do. But I won't. Yet.

This was the wrong Indiana winter to decide to do winter activities I'd never done before. I want to go ice-skating but I wanted it to be outside. But the weather here has been so globally-warmed I'm not sure whether or not I'll get to do that one this winter. I blame James Franco.

I started my 90 days of 750 Words a Day challenge today and I wrote over 1000 words. This is not a game.

Sending mail is so much fun guys. Sending notes and letters and packages is just....the best. When you send mail, PEOPLE WILL SEND YOU MAIL BACK! I've gotten beautiful handmade cards, wonderful messages that lift my heavy-booted spirit, and this past week I got a mix CD I haven't stopped listening to since it arrived (Thanks, Jordan!).

Not to mention buying new stamps is perhaps the most exhilarating thing you can do on a chilly (yet unseasonably warm) Midwestern day. I have stamps that commemorate the America Negro Baseball Leagues as well as ones that honor legendary actor Gregory Peck. Oh! I also have some gorgeous ones with a single sailboat painting on them.  I'll save my gushing about my stationary for another day. But rest assured, there will be gushing.

In any event, things are moving right along. I'm feeling really good about this year and I'll be damned if it doesn't seem like this year is feeling really good about me too. Now, here's my list of books. Maybe you'll read some of them with me? Oh, you already read them all? Shade.

1. Lord of the Flies by William Golding - I saw this movie as a kid and it blew my scalp back. Always wanted to read the book.
2. The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger - Never got around to this one. Still, somehow dated three different versions of Holden Caulfield. Jesus, help.
3. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou - I've read lots of my love, Ms. Angelou. This is one I wasn't ready for until now. 
4. Walks with Men by Ann Beattie - I had a friend suggest this to me and I've been meaning to read it for a solid 6 months. I'm interested.
5. God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater by Kurt Vonnegut - This will be my first time reading a Vonnegut novel. I've read some short stories before, but nothing long-form. He's even from Indianapolis. I'm a bad Hoosier. Also, I hate basketball. LOLZ.
6. Life of Pi by Yann Martel - Most of my friends have read this book. Many feel about it they way I feel about The Giver or Walk Two Moons. So I have to read it.
7. Sula by Toni Morrison - I just haven't read enough Toni Morrison. 
8. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho - My roommate (and life partner) Spencer made a book trailer for this one for a class he took last semester and I've wanted to read it ever since.
9. Just Kids by Patti Smith - Rock and Roll memiors are always a good choice, even the bad ones. You know what? Especially the bad ones. I've heard good things about this one. Excited to start it.
10. Living Well is the Best Revenge by Calvin Tomkins - Another suggestion from a good friend. I had a sort of historical romance with this group of Ex-Pats over the summer. Ernest Hemingway was that dude.
11.  Annie John by Jamaica Kincaid - My friend Maggie bought me this book on my last trip to NYC. I was intrigued by the little black girl on the cover. Now, she's mine.
12. Other Heartbreaks by Patricia Henley - I won this book at the Ball State University Writers Community Gala this year. It was published by two professors in our department and Cathy Day will be teaching it in her novel-writing class this semester. I miss that class. Still working on the novel(s).
13. A Visit From the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan - For obvious reasons.
14. Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer - Because I hated Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.
15. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie - I love YA books. There are so few of them on this list because I keep up with them really well. Alexie has always made me laugh and think, sometimes at the same time, and I want to know more about native people in this country who are living here right now. Also, I'm going to be published with him in PANK 6!
16. Night by Elie Wiesel - After reading Number the Stars in third grade, I found myself obsessed with the Holocaust for many years. I've never really gotten over that obsession, but somehow in all my readings about it, I never got to this one. I'm sure I'll be in tears. But tears sometimes help me see things more clearly.
17. Before You Suffocate Your Own Fool Self by Danielle Evans - Been meaning to read this since summer. Recommendation from Roxane Gay. Let's cut the shit, I'll read anything Roxane recommends.
18. How to Escape From a Leper Colony by Tiphanie Yanique - See above.
19. Cut Through the Bone by Ethel Rohan - I love love love The Lit Pub. I haven't been able to comment as much I did when I was unemployed, but I still read there frequently. One of the first books they discussed there was Rohan's. I ordered it then, but am just now getting to it. I'm really excited about it.
20. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott - It seems this is required reading for the kind of writing I want to do. So, I'll read it. 
21. On Writing by Stephen King - See above.
22. The Comeback Season by Cathy Day - The Circus in Winter was amazing and after having Cathy as a professor, I have no idea how she even finds the time to write books so well. The Comeback Season is a little lighter (I hear) and I'm ready to dig into it. Especially, since nonfiction is what I'm most focused on writing right now.
23. The Fullness of Everything by Tyler Gobble and Christopher Newgent and Brian Oliu - Confession: I know all of these men. Gobble and Newgent are two of my closest friends and Oliu is more of a faraway writing/music hero who I only met once. These guys are all amazing writers. Just amazing. There are many times when I don't know how I made friends with such amazingly talented people. Somehow I have. I can't wait to read their words. Also, check out that badass cover!
24. Wind in a Box by Terrance Hayes - I hadn't heard of Terrance Hayes until my friend Tyler Gobble took me to a reading he had at Butler University. I was absolutely blown away by him. Absolutely. I've since bought and read "Lighthead" but I've heard this one is even better. I'll find out for myself.
25. Room by Emma Donoghue - This book sounds gut-wrenching. I need something to wrench my gut. 

Have you read any of these titles? Thoughts? Opinions? Interact with me. It keeps me focused. I'm an ENFP.

See you soon. 

Akron, Sledding & All of the Magic

*If you'd like to check out my list of 25 Things to Accomplish in My 25th Year, you can find that here.


A little over a month ago, my good friends Tyler Gobble, Layne Ransom, and Christopher Newgent invited me to tag along on their trip to Akron, OH to read at The Big Big Mess Reading Series. The timing was perfect. I needed to get away for more than one reason and this group of pals, was just the group of pals I needed to get away with.

As long as I'm not driving, I love road trips

The fun began immediately. From pop-locking in Layne’s parking lot to stopping for bathrooms and snacks at a Dairy Queen/KFC/Long John Silver/Marathon gas station, we had a blast. Sigur Ros in the speakers peppered with conversations about treacherous showers, the proper use of dandruff shampoo, and a multitude of other weird things writers talk about when stuck in a car together for about five hours. Only this didn’t feel like “stuck”. This felt like “together at last”.

Somewhere along the way, I decided to become ridiculously excited about Akron. I already love traveling and was really excited about making the trip with friends, but I wanted to treat Akron the way people treat New York City, LA, or Paris. I wanted to be ecstatic.

By the time we got to the home of Nick Sturm, Maggie the Cat, Mike Krutel, and Sam The Ghost (I think),  I was ready for Akron and everything it had to offer. Here are some of the highlights from the trip.

Nick is a little bow-legged. You know what that means...

Mike was funny and quiet. But mostly funny.

Sam is maybe a ghost. He also maybe slept in that hat.

• Right after arriving, Nick asked if anyone would like to ride with him to the bus station to pick up Joshua Kleinberg and see a bit more of Akron. Tyler and I went with him. Looking at the snowy hills in Akron, I mentioned my 25 List and that sledding was on it. Nick was immediately down to make that happen. Then, Josh fell into the backseat with me all handshakes, crossed legs, and immediate apologies for having left bunches of paper on the floor of Nick’s car from a class he’d dropped the previous semester. Josh was everything.

• Our Indiana crew is a bunch of cuddlers, bunch of queers. We all piled on their blue couch and cuddled and laid there and kept chatting with the Akronites as though we weren’t a ridiculously affectionate group of friends. As though we are not a ridiculously affectionate group of friends.

Hoosier Cuddlers

• For dinner, we went to this neat sandwich shop, Mr. Zubs, where the menu items were named after characters from movies. I got the Rick Deckard. The shop played mostly badass tunes from 50’s and 60’s, and you know me. I couldn’t help but dance like a fool. Nevermind the fact that I apparently had a song in my heart and hadn’t STOPPED randomly singing to myself since we got there. I don’t know how they put up with me.
• There was a cool record shop next to Zubs and I got Sam Cooke CD and two Judy Garland records for my roomie/love, Spencer.
• After a few PBR’s and a rousing game of pool with Josh (EVERYTHING) the reading began and it was FANTASTIC. This was my first time seeing Josh read and all his words hit me in the face and my heartbeat hum. My pals were ON IT. Layne was all cool and “What up, Akron?”. Tyler was all man-pants and a Hooters Tee (2X). The Newg was all shirt then no shirt then reading poetry from an iPad. Nick Sturm was so annoyed by my singing he asked me to do it in front of the crowd. So I did. I sang country music because why not? Bottom line. The Big Big Mess was a gorgeous mess.

Sexy pants

• Apparently, you can get some fantastic grilled-cheese in Akron and we tried to taste it, but the place was packed and our hearts were too massive for a table at their restaurant. We went to Pita Pit. And it was excellent.
• Driving back to the Akron Magic House we listened to so many songs I loved and I kept asking Nick “Who is this?” and “What’s the name of this song?” and saying, “God, I love Akron”. Also, we listened to Lil’ Wayne and I lost it. Completely lost it.
• After drinking and talking and mostly laughing for the rest of the night, us four hoosiers attempted to sleep on one fold-out couch-bed (buncha cuddlers). That lasted for about half an hour. Then people migrated to other couches and the spare bed. Soon, it was just Layne and I in the bed, but we stayed close to one another. We were warm and heart-shaped.
• The Akronites brought us grapes in couch-bed, then made us coffee and waffles. Everything was so good.
• After breakfast, Josh and Bethani came over, I can only assume for hugs and pictures since that’s what I forced them to partake in. Then we decided that today would be the day I started my list. Today would be the day I went sledding.

Josh is thinking, "Bethani"

• Mike and Nick knew of some awesome sledding hills since they are native Akronites, so we left for Wal-Mart to get sleds, but their sleds were like 20 bucks because they don’t care about sledding poets. I was near ready to give up on the adventure, but Nick Sturm is a dinosaur and he roared, “No”. The Newg suggested Lowe’s. Their sleds were 6 bucks. We all bought one. Tyler was upset he didn’t buy two.
• We showed up at the sledding hills like a RagTag Crew of Snow-Slayers from Hell. We were totally stoked about all the “fresh powder” on the hills and immediately got into it. And there I was. Sledding for the first time. And it was perfect. The wind was all over me and I wasn’t even cold! Just giggle-fits and huge-grins.

Akron hills > Muncie hills

• Sledding left us tired and wind-worn, so we warmed up by a fire pit and shared apple cider from a jug. Then Tyler and Nick showed me how athletic poets can be by throwing around a football. Really well. Who knew?

When we hugged good-bye, I felt genuinely sad. Driving away, I felt like I’d made good new friends in Akron and I can’t wait to go back.

We're going home, Layney-Baby

The thing is, at the end of all this, what I enjoyed more than completing something on my list, was how much everyone else seemed to enjoy being part of this with me. They wanted to see me go down that hill for the first time, and wanted to take all my silly pictures. Writing is serious business. Writer’s don’t always have to be so serious. I’m ridiculously excited for AWP.

Hope to see you there.

The List

Me seizing the day. Look at all that fresh powder.

I’ve mentioned this 25 Things I Want To Accomplish in My 25^th Year list before. The only rules I have for the list are 1) each item has to be something I’ve never done before 2) each item has to be attainable 3) each item has to be something I want to do and 4) no item can be reliant on someone else’s cooperation i.e. Have Sexual Relations with Donald Glover, Get Tyler Gobble to Stop Calling Himself T-Gob, Move-In With The Poetic Men of Akron, etc.

However, the more I talk about this list, the more I find friends who are interested in helping me check different things off. I think that’s just perfect. Nothing better than completing this list alongside my favorite people. As long as the item doesn't rely on their involvement. Get it? Good.

So here’s the list with brief explanations.


1.      Go Sledding – COMPLETED! Will be posting details and more pictures soon!


2.      Ride a horse – I grew up watching a lot of westerns with my grandmother and wanting so badly to have my own horse. I’ll probably never own one, but I’m looking forward to riding one soon.


3.      Ride in a boat – It could be the Flying Dutchmen for all I care, but I’d really like to complete this one. Especially since my life, my love, and my lady is the sea.


4.      Go to a Drive-in movie – This I’ve wanted to do ever since I saw Poetic Justice as a kid. I just don’t want anyone getting their brains blown out on my lap in some mistaken identity gang violence.


5.      See a ballet performance – I love to dance. Maybe more than anyone else I know. Ballet is something I can’t even pretend to know anything about, but I love to watch performances on television or on YouTube. Seeing a performance live should rock my block.


6.      Create and post eight new recipes – Cooking for my roommates, friends, lovers, etc. is a favorite pastime of mine. Feeding people tasty food that’s (usually) good for them is one way I show my love. I rarely use recipes and even when I do, I always make changes. So, I thought it would be nice to actually record how I make some of my favorite things for posterity. I’ll post the recipes on this blog. You lucky ducks.


7.      Sew a wearable dress – I invested in a sewing machine about two years ago and have since used it to make blankets, bags, and headbands. I’d love to use it to make something I could wear proudly and I love wearing dresses. I even have an inherited maiden-form! I can do this.


8.      Perfect one cocktail – When I hang out with my friends who like to drink, they know I’m pretty much only checking for some weak, fruity, mixed drink because I’m scared of everything else. I’d like to change that. I’d like to learn to make one cocktail superbly. And when I do, you’ll all be sorry.


9.      Visit my father by myself – My father is in prison. The last time I saw him, I was twelve years-old. I need to see him again.


10.  Write one hand-written letter/note per week – I’ve kind of already started this one. I’ve sent out a few notes in the past few weeks, but I’m looking forward to sending out more. I also really enjoy getting new stamps at the post office. I have so many right now, guys.


11.  Travel somewhere west of Missouri – It is a sad fact that I love to travel and yet, I’ve never been out of the country or even west of my beloved Missouri. I know way too many people who live on the west coast for this to be true. I could visit Austin, LA, Portland, or Colorado at any time. I just have to make the time and get there.

12.  Submit work to one publication a month – I love the literary community. I love knowing people who write amazing things. I need to start putting more of my work out there so I can get closer to becoming like these writers I admire. I have the potential to get there, now I just need to work and submit. Work and submit.


13.  Write 750 Words a day for 90 Days in a row – I’ll be using this site to help with this one. I can do it. I just have to commit.


14.  Finish the first draft of my novel(s) – I started working on two different novels (fiction and nonfiction) while taking a course with the incomparable Cathy Day. Now, I just have to decide which one I’m going to focus on completing a first draft of by the end of my 25^th year. As long as I finish that first draft.


15.  Go ice-skating – Another wintery play activity I’ve never gotten the chance to do. I was obsessed with Michelle Kwan for a good bit of the nineties, so I hope some of that rubbed off on me via television.


16.  Take a camping trip with friends – I love the outdoors. Seriously. And I’ve worked at two very outdoorsy summer camps in the past seven years. Somehow, in all of my love for trees, hiking, and sleeping outside, I’ve never gone on a camping trip with a group of friends. I’ve had some close calls, but nothing ever came to fruition. But now, I’m 25. So, I’m going to change that shit.


17.  Record a rap song – Because I can and I have a sneaking suspicion I’ll be better at it than anyone expects. Also, cause Yeezy taught me.


18.  Buy a set of real lingerie – I’ve always wanted to own some lingerie, not to be sexy for anyone else, but to wear under really ordinary looking clothes. It sounds weird, I’m sure, but I want to have the measurements right and everything. I want to be a bad mamma jamma.


19.  Read a list of 25 Books I’ve Never Read – I am working on this list now. It should have what some people consider classics along with some newer things I’ve wanted to get into. I will already own a third of these books. Which is kind of messed up.


20.  Learn to play a song on my guitar – Yes, I own a guitar that I don’t know how to play. Weren’t we all college freshmen once?


21.  Graduate – I don’t even want to talk about this one. I just want to get it done.


22.  Swim in the ocean – I have been to the ocean twice, but I’ve never gotten to swim in the ocean because I’ve only just learned to swim.


23.  Get a tattoo – This one is kind of cheating because I already have a tattoo. But I’m bending my own rules, because you don’t get a tattoo of the same thing. So, I’ll get a new tattoo this year. That’s not of a bluebird.


24.  Move out of Muncie – Because it’s time.


25.  Write and film a short movie – I’ve wanted to do something like this my entire life and being where I am now with the people I have in my life now is never going to happen again. I will never be in a more perfect position to make this happen. Now, is the time.

That’s my list. Nothing too ridiculous. But I want to do everything on this list. None of these things will change at their core, but I might be persuaded to up the ante on a few of them. We shall see.


I hope you’ll hang around and encourage me while I tackle this list of 25 Things to Accomplish in My 25^th Year. I promised to keep you updated.

25 in 25

I turned 25 on Saturday. I would be lying if I said I’d been looking forward to this birthday. I was definitely looking forward to my birthday party, but the thought of turning 25 in the place I am (physically and mentally), didn’t sound as appealing. 

I thought things would be different. I thought my life would be different. I realized, as I approached my birthday, I want more from my life. I've become quite complacent. A little too comfortable with the word "fine". So, I began working on a list of 25 things I’ve never done that I want to do in my 25th year. 

I will post my list of 25 things I want to accomplish this year (my 25th year) and each time I complete one of those tasks, I’ll reflect on it in this blog. I’ll also post more 25 lists. You know like 25 Books I Want To Read This Year, 25 Recipes I Want To Try This Year, 25 Recipients of Hand-Written Letters, etc. My goal is to do a new one each week. Let me know if you can think of any good 25 list topics. 

My goal here is to document how I react to change and trying new things. I’ve always enjoyed them but sometimes I get scared and forget how much I need to welcome change. For the most part, change has always been good to me. I need to remember how much I require it, how empty I feel when things don’t change. 

I’m looking forward to this. I hope you are too.